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1d-dream-s:

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This was harder then it used to be; harder to move, harder to walk, harder to be alive. I bit my lip, knowing you hated when I thought like that. Shaking the thoughts I looked at my hands; covered in creases from the life past, memories in each line, more coming with age. I held back the tears, held back the weakness.

Someone coughed. I looked into the crowd. People dressed in black gazed back at me, their eyes filled with concern and sympathy. I moved a gray hair from my face and looked down at the crumpled paper in front of me. The black script looked back at me. My words, my soul, my feelings in one, on one paper, one piece that held everything that was once us. I swallowed and began to speak, the pain shooting through my fabled body.

“Life,” I started. “It’s a funny thing. It can bring laughter, smiles, and even a few tears but that’s what makes us live it. That’s what makes it worthwhile. Cause for every tear there is always a smile waiting around the corner.” I felt my heart hurt, I felt it need you. “Harry lived for all of these things. Whether that meant a grin or a cry he loved life and everything in it. He made sure everyone is his life did as well.” I took a deep breath breaking the eye contact with the audience. “Harry found me in a fragile state, a place in which I thought I could never get out of. A place I felt alone in, like the world would never care. He showed me I wasn’t by myself, he showed me that there were people who cared, he showed me love.” I covered my mouth with my hand, unable to go further. The crowd stared back, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to react. I saw the boys. I saw your best friends staring back at me, their faces broken, filled with sorrow. Nothing could have willed me to go on further. “Its sad that one had to leave us. It’s sad that one who deserved to live another 100 years had to leave us now. It’s heartbreaking that a lover, a friend, a musician had to leave this world.” I turned to the next sheet, the ache in my heart remained. “Harry was a man of true loyalty. He stood by his friends no matter what challenged them.” Louis broke down into tears. His face shattered. Niall put his arm around him; two old men crying. “His music, his voice, his memory is what will live on.” I lost my breath, incapable of words. Seeing Louis cry, Niall holding back tears an Zayn and Liam with stone expressions was one to hurt anybody. I locked eyes with my daughter, Darcy. She smiled at me and nodded me to continue. “A marriage lasting 54 years. A band lasting 8 years. 1 daughter. Thousands of friends. Harry lived an 84 years of pure brilliance.” I bit my tongue the tears beginning to stream down my face. “Life, it is a long run but in the end it’s about the moments you have lived. Those are the times that will be treasured most.” This was it. “I love you Harry Styles and will always wear your last name proudly. You are the reason I am here today and I could never thank you enough.” I walked away from the podium, not even trying to hold back the tears now.

Good bye Harry. I will always love you. You are my reason to be.